Glitter Diaries: The Best Part
I recently came upon an article that truly hit home for me; it was about the realisation of why it's better that things don't work out. Growing up, I always had a set plan for my life: I would graduate from high school, go to university, meet the person that I was meant to spend the rest of my life with while in university, marry him, have children, and grow old with him. I was so set in my ways, and hanging on to this dream so tightly, that I stuck around in a relationship that affected me negatively both mentally, emotionally and, had it gone on for longer, I'm sure it would have become physical abuse as well.
There were a number of subjects mentioned that were relevant to me. Certain things don't work out (and for the better), and for me, it was the realisation that your "dream job" wasn't your dream job at all (I went from being a federal public servant with a Poli Sci degree to going back to school to become a French, grade school teacher). In addition to the former was also the realisation that the people you thought were your best friends end up being the people who hurt you the most. However, one thing from the article stood out for me, above all else; it was:
That moment you realise that a broken heart has changed your life forever.
This realisation was definitely the hardest one to achieve but ultimately, it was the most rewarding. When the article mentions heartbreak being one of the most emotionally debilitating experiences in the world, I could not help but agree, and wholeheartedly. It really wasn't until someone else, my husband D, mended it, that my heart, as well as my soul, became whole again.
Above is the photo that I submitted to Project Unbreakable. When I was living in Hong Kong with my ex-fiancé, and I stayed with him for some time, even after finding out about many of his indiscretions which are too painful to hash out in this post (or ever), I had fallen into a deep depression. I spent many days and nights crying. I had become a shell of a person, and was only falling deeper. I had ceased to eat and sleep during my depression which affected my body so much that I had stopped menstruating for a 6-month period. And although this has been hard to admit both to myself and to my close friends/family, I had made more than one attempt on my life while I was going through this difficult time.
The one moment that epitomizes what our relationship had become was when he said those words (in the photo above) to me one night after I had left our bedroom to go to the living room. I had been crying because of all the pain that he had caused me, and because of how hopeless and helpless I felt. He had gotten up as well, and followed me to the living room; however, it was not to comfort me as one would expect their boyfriend/fiancé of nearly 5 years to do, someone who claimed to love me to do. He came out after me to tell me that the sight of me crying made him want to bash my face in. His words are ones that I will never forget for two reasons: (1) it represents how weak of a person I was for staying with him for all the wrong reasons, for so long, and (2) it is also a reminder of how far I have come since then.
My husband, D, is the polar opposite of my ex. I had never known what it was like to be truly loved and to be in a healthy relationship until I met him. I have been lucky in so many ways, and the article that the Huffington Post published was proof that my heart had to be shattered into a million pieces before someone like my husband could put it back together again, and make it better than it ever was before. Although the realisation was a hard one to come upon, I am so glad that it happened, or I would never know what true love and true happiness is.
There were a number of subjects mentioned that were relevant to me. Certain things don't work out (and for the better), and for me, it was the realisation that your "dream job" wasn't your dream job at all (I went from being a federal public servant with a Poli Sci degree to going back to school to become a French, grade school teacher). In addition to the former was also the realisation that the people you thought were your best friends end up being the people who hurt you the most. However, one thing from the article stood out for me, above all else; it was:
That moment you realise that a broken heart has changed your life forever.
This realisation was definitely the hardest one to achieve but ultimately, it was the most rewarding. When the article mentions heartbreak being one of the most emotionally debilitating experiences in the world, I could not help but agree, and wholeheartedly. It really wasn't until someone else, my husband D, mended it, that my heart, as well as my soul, became whole again.
Just today, a friend that I had gone to middle school and high school with randomly sent me a message regarding a photo that I had submitted to Project Unbreakable. I had all but forgotten about it since it had been a while since I first came upon the project via a link that had been posted to social media. I also did not submit the photo thinking that anyone I actually knew would see it. Her message read:
Hey Ivy,
I saw your picture on the homepage of Project Unbreakable.
I just wanted to say I'm sorry that all of that happened to you and I think you're really brave for putting it out there and inspiring for moving on and being so happy and successful
I saw your picture on the homepage of Project Unbreakable.
I just wanted to say I'm sorry that all of that happened to you and I think you're really brave for putting it out there and inspiring for moving on and being so happy and successful
The one moment that epitomizes what our relationship had become was when he said those words (in the photo above) to me one night after I had left our bedroom to go to the living room. I had been crying because of all the pain that he had caused me, and because of how hopeless and helpless I felt. He had gotten up as well, and followed me to the living room; however, it was not to comfort me as one would expect their boyfriend/fiancé of nearly 5 years to do, someone who claimed to love me to do. He came out after me to tell me that the sight of me crying made him want to bash my face in. His words are ones that I will never forget for two reasons: (1) it represents how weak of a person I was for staying with him for all the wrong reasons, for so long, and (2) it is also a reminder of how far I have come since then.
My husband, D, is the polar opposite of my ex. I had never known what it was like to be truly loved and to be in a healthy relationship until I met him. I have been lucky in so many ways, and the article that the Huffington Post published was proof that my heart had to be shattered into a million pieces before someone like my husband could put it back together again, and make it better than it ever was before. Although the realisation was a hard one to come upon, I am so glad that it happened, or I would never know what true love and true happiness is.
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