Glitter Diaries: The Perfect Fan
The second she arrived, she was in for her worst nightmare... In asian culture, we are quite modest about sexuality and the subject of sex. My poor mother did not think too much of the title of the play until she found herself face-to-face with a giant pair of vagina lips in place of the doors (crafted by the Women's Centre employees with lots of paint and paper) upon entering the auditorium.
As she took her place, she was already dreading what she was about to experience. My mom, a sweet, conservative and very proper asian woman, was subjected to all of the monologues, including mine which talks about getting raped as a child and later on goes into detail about the discovery of her homosexuality. My own performance which, for me, contained very powerful images and emotions, had me in tears on stage. I was completely broken down as I felt all the pain that my character was feeling. With the lights being so bright on stage, I could not see my mother, so it was not until after the show, that I came out from backstage to hear her opinion. I was very nervous as I was only imagining the horrors that my mother had experienced (in her mind), however, I was met with the following words that will never leave my memory, until the day I die; she said: "Ivy, you are a good actress."
To everyone reading this, that probably didn't sound like much. But to me, it meant A LOT. My mother is not one to dish out compliments. As selfless, caring and loving as she is, it is also normal (if not expected) within asian culture (and especially within my family) for there to be a lack of affection. To clarify, if my parents were to hug and kiss each other, and say "I love you" out loud to either one another, or to me and my sister, we would think that someone was severely ill and dying. Also, if you have ever thought that you were your own worst critic, please, come and meet my parents. I remember, whenever I would come back from a singing performance that they were at, and they didn't have anything negative to say, it was a definite sign that I did really well. I mean, my parents' choice of encouraging words before any of my performances, be it singing, acting or emceeing, were always "Don't screw up."
Disclaimer: don't mistake me or what I have just described; I love my parents, and they love me, unconditionally. It's just "their way" and their culture to be like this.
Disclaimer: don't mistake me or what I have just described; I love my parents, and they love me, unconditionally. It's just "their way" and their culture to be like this.
My mother, who had been to every single one of my plays in high school (I had starring/leading roles in 5 different high school drama productions), and even watched me practice for auditions when I was part of a talent and modelling agency (once upon a time), had never complimented me on my acting. Not once. For my mother, to come out of what must have been the most embarrassing and horrifying experience for a traditional asian woman ever, and tell me that she thought I was a good actress, meant that my performance had to have been amazing. I didn't care what anyone else in that theatre thought at all, because my mother's opinion was the most important, and to this day, still has the most impact on me because of what it meant.
My mother was, to me, the perfect fan.
*Please note that the above line is in reference to a Backstreet Boys song... :)
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| {My mother and I in front of our old home in Ottawa's Chinatown/Little Italy area} |
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| {My mother and I, last year, showing our mutual affinity for dressing in stripes} |
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| In honour of Mother's Day on Sunday, May 10th, I am dedicating this post the most selfless, caring, brave, and loving person in my life: my mother. This is also the first "group post" that I am participating in after discovering and consequently joining the SH Bloggers Group, (founded by Sarah Hartley) a wonderful community of bloggers. If you yourself are a blogger, please consider joining this group of very lovely, supporting ladies! |
To read the other ladies' posts in honour of Mother's Day, please click on the links below!
What a wonderful story! It just goes to show that mother's are proud of you no matter what situation- even if it makes them uncomfortable :)
ReplyDeleteThose tiger moms can be tough - but I'm glad in this moment she expressed exactly what you needed. A perfect fan indeed!
ReplyDeleteI love this! I always think that the little things really mean the most so I love that you shared this!
ReplyDelete"The Vagina Monologues" is such a great but intense show. I love that your mom supported you even though it was obviously not in her comfort zone. That's what's great about moms.
ReplyDeleteThat's such an incredible opportunity that you could perform on stage for your mom, and how amazing that she was able to support you even if it wasn't her "thing" That really says a lot about the type of woman she is and how much she loves you!
ReplyDeleteI looooove this story! Such an amazing thing for her to come and support you, and then give you that kind of wonderful feedback. Great story and a great memory to hold onto forever.
ReplyDeleteI looooove this story! Such an amazing thing for her to come and support you, and then give you that kind of wonderful feedback. Great story and a great memory to hold onto forever.
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