Teacher Diaries: La Vie en Rose
Up until last week, I think that I had it fairly easy as a new teacher, and I really was seeing the world of education through rose-coloured glasses. Recently however, I dealt with what I am sure is only the first of many challenges to come in my teaching career (and perhaps it is a small glimpse into what it will be like when I am a parent as well).
One of my students, someone that I thought could do no wrong, an intelligent, beautiful, talented, polite and (seemingly) sweet girl (let's call her Adeline), revealed that she was simply a wolf in sheep's clothing. For the majority of the year, I was blinded by my respect for her abilities and excellent work ethic. A few weeks ago however, she was caught for something she had done wrong, by me. Initially, she had owned up to her mistake, and agreed that we had to meet with her mother to inform her of the situation. We had a parent-teacher conference the next day, the problem was dealt with, end of story. Or so I thought. That weekend, she went home with her mother, and instead of owning up to her mistake and dealing with the consequences, she somehow convinced her mother of her supposed innocence, and wrongly implicated two other girls (we will call them Scarlet and Adaya), girls that she considered to be her best friends, all to save her own behind.
What was incredibly difficult for me to wrap my head around was that her original crime wasn't even that bad, and her "punishment" was simply a parent-teacher conference, with the principal, and some parting words of "Don't do it again." I understand that perhaps her punishment at home may have been more severe, but I do not think that it warranted bringing two innocent people down. For me, lying to her mother, myself, and the principal, after everything (which I stupidly assumed) had been resolved, and wrongly accusing two other girls, was the worse crime.
Unfortunately, the "problem" escalated when Adeline's mother contacted the moms of the two wrongly accused children, and everyone was looking for answers. The frustrating part about it all for me was that the answer had been there all along. The original girl, who had gotten in trouble, was the one and only person responsible, and I had definitive proof (the original crime was an inappropriate note containing subject matter not fit for an 8 year-old in a Catholic school). I was 100% sure of her culpability, but Adeline would not fess up.
What opened my eyes and completely shocked me was the exchange that I witnessed between Adeline and one of the girls she falsely accused (Scarlet). Adeline was putting on quite a convincing show; tears, wails, and everything, when I questioned both girls about the situation, with each of their mothers present. When Scarlet spoke up and said "Adeline wrote it," Adeline's dramatic show, for just a split second, was halted, and she shot the most hateful, and poisonous look at Scarlet, which I happened to see with my own eyes. When Adeline's mother, who was standing behind her (and therefore could not see the look she threw to Scarlet), tapped her on the shoulder and asked "Is this true?", Adeline's mask of tears and wails was back on.
Thankfully, there was some kind of breakthrough at home that evening, and either Adeline's mother realised that the proof was too significant to ignore, or Adeline herself saw that the jig was up, and there was no way to lie her way out of it anymore. I received a two-page apology letter from her mother the next day, and Adeline was made to apologise not only to me, but to her two (former) friends for what she did.
It was heartbreaking for me to see that such betrayal and malice could exist in a girl so young of age, and it scares me to think about my future children. Although it was an experience that left an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach, I am glad that it happened because it has taught me to open my eyes a little more, and to lift those rose-coloured glasses that I had only been too happy to wear all year. I believe that this is only the first of many difficult situations that I will encounter in my life, not only as a teacher, but as a mother, one day. It was a hard lesson to learn, but one that I will not soon be forgetting.
One of my students, someone that I thought could do no wrong, an intelligent, beautiful, talented, polite and (seemingly) sweet girl (let's call her Adeline), revealed that she was simply a wolf in sheep's clothing. For the majority of the year, I was blinded by my respect for her abilities and excellent work ethic. A few weeks ago however, she was caught for something she had done wrong, by me. Initially, she had owned up to her mistake, and agreed that we had to meet with her mother to inform her of the situation. We had a parent-teacher conference the next day, the problem was dealt with, end of story. Or so I thought. That weekend, she went home with her mother, and instead of owning up to her mistake and dealing with the consequences, she somehow convinced her mother of her supposed innocence, and wrongly implicated two other girls (we will call them Scarlet and Adaya), girls that she considered to be her best friends, all to save her own behind.
What was incredibly difficult for me to wrap my head around was that her original crime wasn't even that bad, and her "punishment" was simply a parent-teacher conference, with the principal, and some parting words of "Don't do it again." I understand that perhaps her punishment at home may have been more severe, but I do not think that it warranted bringing two innocent people down. For me, lying to her mother, myself, and the principal, after everything (which I stupidly assumed) had been resolved, and wrongly accusing two other girls, was the worse crime.
Unfortunately, the "problem" escalated when Adeline's mother contacted the moms of the two wrongly accused children, and everyone was looking for answers. The frustrating part about it all for me was that the answer had been there all along. The original girl, who had gotten in trouble, was the one and only person responsible, and I had definitive proof (the original crime was an inappropriate note containing subject matter not fit for an 8 year-old in a Catholic school). I was 100% sure of her culpability, but Adeline would not fess up.
What opened my eyes and completely shocked me was the exchange that I witnessed between Adeline and one of the girls she falsely accused (Scarlet). Adeline was putting on quite a convincing show; tears, wails, and everything, when I questioned both girls about the situation, with each of their mothers present. When Scarlet spoke up and said "Adeline wrote it," Adeline's dramatic show, for just a split second, was halted, and she shot the most hateful, and poisonous look at Scarlet, which I happened to see with my own eyes. When Adeline's mother, who was standing behind her (and therefore could not see the look she threw to Scarlet), tapped her on the shoulder and asked "Is this true?", Adeline's mask of tears and wails was back on.
Thankfully, there was some kind of breakthrough at home that evening, and either Adeline's mother realised that the proof was too significant to ignore, or Adeline herself saw that the jig was up, and there was no way to lie her way out of it anymore. I received a two-page apology letter from her mother the next day, and Adeline was made to apologise not only to me, but to her two (former) friends for what she did.
It was heartbreaking for me to see that such betrayal and malice could exist in a girl so young of age, and it scares me to think about my future children. Although it was an experience that left an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach, I am glad that it happened because it has taught me to open my eyes a little more, and to lift those rose-coloured glasses that I had only been too happy to wear all year. I believe that this is only the first of many difficult situations that I will encounter in my life, not only as a teacher, but as a mother, one day. It was a hard lesson to learn, but one that I will not soon be forgetting.
Definitely a difficult situation. Little girls scare the crap out of me... seriously, their ability to manipulate. Just think about what she will be like as an adult....
ReplyDeleteAlthough I want girls of my own one day, I am definitely afraid of the drama that comes with (some) girls. They are not as predictable as boys who like to fight with their fists (most of the time), and their ability to manipulate is what I am dreading!
ReplyDelete